A Carlisle man has been convicted of burglary after nearly killing himself as he fled empty-handed from an auction house.
Michael Sirey Parker, 32, of Cranbourne Road, Carlisle, admitted one charge of burglary when he appeared at Carlisle Magistrates' Court this morning, Tuesday, 15th July 2020.
Non-dwelling burglary, as in this case, is an offence under section 9 of the Theft Act 1968. It is triable either way and has a maximum sentence of 26 weeks' custody on summary conviction; 10 years' custody on conviction on indictment.
Clearly emotional and embarrassed, Parker entered the dock with his head bowed saying "I feel ashamed to be here" - although perhaps not as ashamed as he will be when the national press pick up on his criminal comedy of errors in the next few days.
The court heard that Parker and his unidentified accomplice entered the premises of Laidlow Auctioneers and Valuers in the city's Rome Street at around 12.30 am on the morning of Tuesday, 7th January 2020.
Parker, who clearly isn't very accomplished in the dark art of burglary, cut himself gaining entry through a broken window, which resulted in him leaving a trail of blood throughout the building.
Furthermore, the inept burglar was caught on CCTV stumbling around in the dark, knocking items over, triggering the alarm and unbelievably leaving his mobile phone behind at the scene of the crime.
As if the police didn't have an easy enough job tracking down the unemployed 32-year-old, he gave them a further helping hand by falling off a flat roof, thereby shattering his pelvis and incapacitating himself until workers arrived later that morning.
His accomplice didn't hang around, leaving Parker behind with a very bad limp and a lot of explaining to do.
Diane Jackson, prosecuting, said: "In his interview, he fully admitted the matter, saying he drank a substantial amount of alcohol and took drugs. He had little recollection of what took place."
Magistrates heard that the pair caused £1,000 worth of damage as they stumbled around the darkened premises.
Chris Toms, mitigating, told Magistrates that his client was using valium, drinking to excess and was under the influence at the time of the offence.
"He's unlikely to repeat the experience; and he's now engaging with people to deal with his drug use," Mr Toms said.
Paul Baird, Presiding Justice, told Parker: "It was a disaster area from start to finish; and the reason it was a disaster was alcohol and drugs.
"Your life is a mess - but we think there’s a chance you can get out of this mess."
Magistrates sentenced Parker to an 18 month community order, with requirements of a 3 month drug treatment programme and up to 10 rehabilitation activity days.
He was also fined £40, as the order has no punitive element, and ordered to pay £480 compensation to Laidlow Auctioneers and Valuers.
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